You Reared, I Wrote - Thursday's Update

[adsenseyu5] Republicans aren't raising enough money, therefore struggling to gain senate seats. Candidates clearly didn't take direction from Xing Wu Pan, a fundraiser for comptroller John C. Liu in NY. Pan funneled money into Liu's campaign intending to sidestep campaign donation restrictions. Silly Pan.

Obama rejects the EPA's plan to reduce smog. This comes only after the man who fired an automatic rifle at the White House last week was found and taken into custody.

Obama plans to increase our military presence in Australia just after scholars in China granted Russian PM Vladimir Putin with the Confucius Peace Prize for his "iron hand and toughness." Putin was given Confucius specifically for his invasion of Chechnya in 1999 and his disapproval of the recent NATO bombings in Libya. Other candidates included Bill Gates, and Gyaiancain Norbu. Norbu is the Chinese Government appointed Panchen Lama. The Dali Lama chose Nyima as the original Penchen Lama 16 years ago. Nyima has since mysteriously disappeared, with only silence from the Chinese Government. Mother, She Wrote gives Putin and the Chinese Government the Golden Acorn Award.

Finally, the last Munchkin has departed Munchkin land permanently. Karl Slover passed away at 93. There's no place like home.

Tomato Paste is a Veggie follow-up. Based on a study at UNC, children get more calories from pizza than any other food. Childhood obesity has also tripled in the last 30 years.

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Tomato Paste Is A Veggie

[adsenseyu5] The Agriculture Department tried to curb childhood obesity by making the first change to the school lunch program in 15 years. In an unforeseen twist, Special Interest Groups such as ConAgra, Coca-Cola, and Del Monte Foods intercepted the proposal, inflamed that this change would result in increased food prices--.14 cents per meal.

Purchased Lawmakers drafted a 'compromise' that blocked the Agriculture Department from using funds to introduce novelties such as fruits and vegetables. Rules would have cut sodium in half within 1o years and altered the way schools got credit for serving luxuries such as tomato paste on pizza. Specials pulled a tantrum when they realized the change would include adding an extra serving of tomato paste per pizza--resulting in a manipulated user experience. Deceiving innocent children into consuming their 5-7 servings of fruits and/or veggies a day is against Specials' Company Policy.

The following statement seems like satire, but sadly I'm not poking fun here: The companies called the Congressional response reasonable, adding that the Agriculture Department went too far in trying to improve nutrition in school lunches. 

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Occupy Noun(s) Not Parks

[adsenseyu5] Police have cleared Zucotti park. Will the Occupy Wall Street movement die without a park to occupy? I suggest occupying the polls but protesters have suggested taking all their money out of banks or refocusing the movement to support a political candidate.

I'm part of the 99% too and I've made more progress with their movement from my couch. Occupiers accomplished nil and now ideas of bank runs are at play, which cause immense financial crisis resulting in long economic recessions and enormous financial clean ups.

Start-ups account for most new job creations. Volunteer while developing your business plan. Pick something, homelessness, child abductions, AIDS, soup kitchens. All Saints feeds the homeless on the UES every Friday from 8-12. Choose action over nesting, Occupy Noun Street. Help us, help you.

 

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While You Were Rearing, Tuesday Edition

[adsenseyu5] The Supreme Court will hear the health care overhaul challenge between the federal government and 26 states to decide if congress overstepped boundaries by requiring health insurance. Many doctors and hospitals have already cut income in other areas and are dependent on this mandatory coverage of patients for revenue. If the Supreme Court decides congress did overstep their boundaries, these people are screwed.

 

Obama campaign volunteers from 2008 have formed a "Young People Who Got You Elected By Going Door to Door in Sometimes Extreme Weather Conditions" committee for 2012. Objectives include talking about voting for Obama, but vowing to do no leg work or promotion of any kind for him for the upcoming election. According to the Committee Chair, "We want to give back what was given."

 

Billy Hunter announced NBA players rejected the leagues latest offer. Players and League owners will cease redundant meetings, and reruns of Jersey Shore to volunteer to help the almost 7 million children under 5 who would have died today if they kept arguing. NBA Players = HOPE.

Police in riot gear cleared out Oakland early this morning because of health and safety issues, however; protesters secretly returned after Google's Lab donated invisible tents.

The Department of Transportation fined American Eagle airlines $900,000 on Monday  for keeping 608 passengers on board various flight for more than three hours at Chicago O’Hare in May. Ms. Aiken of 42C, who sat nearest the lavatory, is filling for a Nasal Passages Hardship, as these passed away on her flight.

 

Regis waves goodbye to Kelly, and leaves his syndicated show at the end of this week. He has logged more hours on broadcast tv than anyone since 1947. Regis aspires to use this accomplishment to join the cast of SNL or become a Supreme Court Justice.

 

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Banning medical research on chimpanzees and gorillas would save 30 million dollars a year.

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Breeder's Choice Update

[adsenseyu5] Romney and Cain are polling downward and Gingrich gains ground. Gingrich is now tied with Romney at 18-19% of the vote. there was little mudslinging in the recent GOP debate in South Carolina, which focused on foreign policy.

Sadly, Rick Perry's Opps moment has gotten even more coverage. Opps was recently featured on SNL, and Perry has agreed to go on Letterman to talk about Opps. Opps is more than damaging to Perry because it happened at the end of the debates while he's trying to prove he's not only smart enough to compete, but specifically that knows his facts. He's now in the single digits in some polls but there's a chance the 54 seconds Opps may humanize him. He avoided Opps Saturday at the South Carolina debate. However, Opps continues to raise questions about his ability to go against Barak Obama.

Ironically, Cain had his two most successful days of fundraising after the first woman came forward. This scandal hasn't hurt Cain as much as Perry's Opps. According to Gloria Cain, “I’m thinking he would have to have a split personality to do the things that were said.” Fox News released excerpts of the interview Sunday night, the interview will be broadcast this evening.

Foot in mouth incident occurred when CBS News’s political director, John Dickerson accidentally sent an email to Michelle Bachmann's communications director saying he would rather “get someone else” other than Bachmann for a show airing after the CBS News Journal debate on Saturday night since Bachmann was “not going to get many questions” and “she’s nearly off the charts."

The results are still unclear as a few candidates have made such recent mistakes that they may not have time to correct. Less than 50 days until voting begins and some of this time is taken up by holidays.

 

The next debate will be in Washington DC on November 22.

 

 

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While You Were Rearing Monday Edition

[adsenseyu5] Google has a secret lab that even most employees aren't aware of with engineers and robotics experts working to tackle 100 seemingly impossible ideas including robots that go to work while you stay home. With unemployment so high, OWSers now flock to the 'Secret Lab' to picket, demanding Google invent invisible tents instead.

The debate over health care overhaul is focusing on the limits of federal power and whether Congress overstepped its boundaries with this mandate asking questions such as, "If the Government can require people to purchase health insurance what else?" Possibly chocolate? I wouldn't fight mandatory purchases of chocolate.

Banks are still corrupt and are secretly raising consumer fees as they try to make up 12 billion dollars of income resulting from laws that prevent them from charging consumers to use debit cards, and limiting overdraft fees. Bank of America will replace lost debit cards for 5 dollars and for 20 dollars you may have it rushed.

Burlusconi stepped down on Saturday after 17 years in office.  The former businessman spent his time in office sprinkled with sex scandals and corruptions trials. Most recently he's been in the news for house parties with various women and a prostitute named Ruby Heartstealer. He's faced with having sexual relations with a minor and aiding her release from custody when she was arrested for theft. Burlusconi=Honor. Thankfully, his political party is still in power and he owns Italy's largest private broadcaster.

 

 

 

 

Congressional Deficit Reduction Committee is looking for an escape hatch after Republicans on the committee soften their stance on tax increases. The Committee has a little more than a week to finish its work deciding how to cut 1.2 trillion over 10 years--automatic cuts start in 2013 if the panel falls short.

Lobbying by pro gun groups has loosened gun laws across the country, leaving states to decide when a felon can get their guns back. Leaving states to decide when a FELON can get their GUNS back.

NBC hired Chelsea Clinton as a full-time special news correspondent, attempting to secure their 5th place primetime position. NBC is on shaky ground. Along with mandatory health care, Congress has recently made it illegal to watch networks that have fallen to 6th place and lobbyists are working around the clock to force lawmakers to seize cable boxes from those who are convicted. This combined with new mandates for continual Jersey Shore reruns for tanning bed abusers, is leaving cable watchers uneasy.

Inspirational story of the day, click here.

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Designer Lipstick

[adsenseyu5] Here's something we don't need, but has inevitably made its was into the mainstream. Designer lipstick, specifically Tom Ford's red, which is $48 dollars a tube sans tax.  How is Tom Ford's red better than the combination-red made by Mother, She Wrote? If Tom's lipstick stayed on all day, no creases, etc then maybe. I didn't find a lipstick that could do this, but I did find some interesting things about lipstick while searching for the perfect product.

Lipstick has been around since ancient times and contains pigments, oils, waxes, and emollients that apply color-protection and texture. The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics tested lipsticks and 1/3 contain more lead than is safely allowed in candy--specifically in red lipstick, so make sure you don't eat it. Lead is not broken down in your body but builds up over time, and no amount of exposure is safe. Its been linked with learning, language, and behavioral problems. Lead is more harmful to pregnant women and small children and can cause infertility and miscarriage.

Sadly, the FDA doesn't have a limit on lead in cosmetics--I wonder how much lead is in my body right now?

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While You Were Rearing, Friday Edition

[adsenseyu5] President Obama puts off the seven billion dollar Keystone Oil pipeline decision until after the elections while The White House studies an alternate route through Nebraska. The three-year project designed to carry oil from Canada to Texas, will add to global warming and extend our dependence on fossil fuels while doing extensive environmental damage along the route. Sweet.

Mother, She Wrote gives this week's Disgrace Award to Calvin Gibbs, a marine who killed three Afghanistans last year for sport. The court sentenced him to life in prison on Thursday but he could be eligible for parole in 10 years. Here is the Times Magazine article from earlier this year.

Perry tried humor to neutralize the fall out of the debate, however embarrassment is turning to alarm as campaign supporters wonder if the incident impacts his ability to challenge Romney. As no political analyst, my opinion is if you can't remember three programs you're going to cut in office, you're probably not the best fit to run a nation.

Is Cain the next candidate? Shockingly, another women is lurking in the alley to accuse Cain of sexual harassment. Like any woman taking a restroom break, Karen Kraussaar doesn't intend to talk or come forward until the other women come forward with her.

If you want to hear a stomach talk in a Brooklyn accent or heal your inner child, you can do both by visiting the Eat Sleep Play abstract exhibit in New York. Designed to teach health to children in ways vivid and playful, that are both memorable and easy to understand. Did you know orange juice has more calories than soda; sleep deprivation causes cravings for fat and sugar; and it takes 8 to 15 tries to persuade a child to accept a new food, you would if you went to the exhibit.

 

The Neediest Cases Fund is celebrating its 100th anniversary. Go here to help.

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Thursday's While You Were Rearing

[adsenseyu5] Penn State fired Paterno and removed its President, Graham B. Spanier on Wednesday night.

Cain is expected to call Governor Perry to thank him for stealing the spotlight in Michigan's Wednesday night debate. Perry forgot the name of the third federal agency he vows to cut if elected. It would have been better if he feigned sickness and crawled off stage--the moment was akin to hearing your best friend toot for a solid 54 seconds while giving a presentation. According to Sara Taylor Fagen, a Republican strategist who advised Mr. Bush.“It was a political death knell, there’s just no recovering from a moment like that when you’ve had such a bad record of debates.” If you're easily embarrassed by other people's mishaps, don't click the link below.

Wait Wait Don't Tell Me!!

Thursday's word of the day is pansophy, which means universal wisdom or knowledge.

This is given by Mother, She Wrote to Jon Jarvis, the top federal parks official at the Grand Canyon, who vows to continue selling water bottles in the Grand Canyon after a meeting with Coca Cola because he needs more information before making a decision. Plastic bottle toxins normally decompose and end up in the ocean, which isn't a parks officials problems--losing funds from Coca Cola is.

 

Gift your loved one with a town coat this holiday season. This seasons must have for the man who can't decide if he wants to wear a sports coat or an overcoat. A town coat is the perfect man capri. If you're archaic and abstain from online shopping, Walmart will open its doors at 10pm this Thanksgiving, instead of the standard midnight, don't be the last to get your Man Capri.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="190" caption="Standard Man Capri"][/caption]

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Duggar Clan

Let's talk about Michelle Duggar and her offspring. During my one pregnancy, my body convinced me it was actually melatonin factory. I was in bed more than your average house cat. During the end of my gestation I had to rock back and forth to gain enough momentum to roll on my side, and then roll on the floor to freedom from my bed's embrace. I still do kegels at stop lights to stop the pee that will most definitely haunt me during my daily runs. Not sure my hips ever readjusted. After my introduction to Post Partum, I vowed never to meet her again. My bosom's had zero volume after I breastfed. Do Michelle's looked steam pressed? I'm not going to touch on sleep deprivation here--I fear I've still not caught up.

The 19 children, whose names all begin with 'J' and range in ages from 23 months to 23 years, and are home schooled. All 'Js' get quality time with their parents as Mr. Duggar works at home, which allows him to cart the children with him to run errands. Which leads me to believe they must own a school bus.

It is the Duggar's right to have as many children as they want, after all only 19k people died of hunger today. They continue to reproduce for valid reasons. Mrs. Duggar said 'they didnt want to stop at an odd number', which is a more than logical. No one wants to have an odd number in their whole family. I however think the real reason they continue reproducing is to dominate China as the world's biggest carbon footprint.

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While You Were Rearing, Wednesday Edition

Just so you make the most of today, UN weapon inspectors speculate Iran is covertly experimenting to make nuclear weapons--they are further along than previously suspected.

Republican candidate Cain fired back in a nationally televised news conference even after the second women came forward publicity. He's willing to take lie detector test to prove "I've never acted inappropriately with with anyanyanyone. PPPeriod."  Cain will move forward with his bid for GOP nomination. Is Cain lying or telling the truth?

Joe Paterno is Wednesday's dbag of the week. The 84-year-old Penn State coach takes heat because of a sexual abuse scandal involving his assistant Jerry Sanduski. Sunduski has been charged with sexual abusing eight boys in the course of 15 years. Paterno saw a 'shower incident,' reported it to the athletic director but did nothing more. Both Paterno and University officials knew of the ongoing abuse. Paterno teaches us how to end your 46th season as a loser.

Felix Sanchez de la Vega Guzman is 66 years old, doesn't speak english, and has built a 19 million dollar food empire spanning coast to coast. He immigrated to New York City from Mexico 40 years ago and insulated himself with other non-English speaking immigrants to avoid everyday experiences requiring him to learn English. He's running a 2-day business seminar for OWErs; first to teach them how to form a business plan, second on how not to shun and alienate people. Translators are available upon request.

 

Finally, this week's game is to name the socialite/American philanthropist, who if alive today, would have owned this dog? Every guess gets a free subscription to my blog, and the winner gets a $10 Barnes and Noble card.

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Efficiency Tip

According to electricity providers, heating water is your second biggest energy cost. Turn down thermostat to 120 degrees, check for leaks in your facet, and turn off the water while brushing your teeth. Doesn't Elmo tell us this anyway?

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While You Were Rearing, Tuesday Edition

Republican candidate Herman Cain is once again accused of making crude advances. Sharon Bialek, a native of Chicago and the first women to come forward, said Cain made inappropriate advances to her in 1997 when she asked him for help to find a job. I'm working on mastering time management, so for the rest of the week as women continuously come forward my Caucus While You Were Rearing update will be"Cain’s campaign stated the accusations were false. "

Conrad Robert Murray gets written into the dictionary beside ‘Michael Jackson’s Killer.’  The Jury convicted Murray of involuntary manslaughter when he administered a powerful anesthetic that helped kill the pop star. Murray’s attorney’s painted him as an ‘Angel of Mercy’, who only gave Jackson a small dose on the day he died while the prosecution painted him as a reckless caregiver who gave Jackson medication without proper precautions. Murray faces four years and will be sentenced on November 29.

The nations biggest financial companies have been in violation of the law 51 times since 1996. When they originally got in trouble they whimpered and the SEC slapped their little financial hands. This time, dunce hats for a week.

Wal-Mart benefits from consumer's wrath toward banks by providing customers with à la cart financial services. This press release was immediately picked up by international news associations when 'a la cart' and 'Wal-Mart' were spotted in the same news article.

A multi-million dollar project in Britain will take 10 years to build, and fill up an entire room. Unfortunately, it's not an anti-aging device but a computer built to answer the question 'Did Charles Babbage conceive of the first programmable computer in the 1830s, a hundred years before its modern form?' Sadly, I don't care.

Joe Frazier dies at only 67 years old. Frazier is best known for winning the heavyweight title at Madison Square Garden in 1971 in the 'Fight of the Century.' However, most people at the water cooler don't know that Frazier moved from South Carolina to Philadelphia because he lacked adequate training material. Before the move, he used scraps such as  corn cobs, coal briquettes, and his mom's old clothing to fill his punching bag.

Finally, can you guess which American philanthropist and socialite should have owned this dog? Leave your answer as a comment and I'll share the secret answer tomorrow.

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While You Were Rearing

Kim Kardashian's $18 million dollar wedding was still running on E-News when she filed for divorce. This break-up is the biggest cultural moment of reality television. On a side note, 10 million people have fallen below the line of poverty in the last four years--a family of four lives on less than $22,000 a month. Kim and Kris spent $250,000 for every day of their marriage. Interesting.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Governor Perry has flown for free more than 200 times thanks to wealthy donors and corporate executives. Livestock owners flew Perry to Washington for an EPA meeting with the hopes of limiting amounts of corn-based ethanol in gasoline because of price increases. How do we think Perry voted--campaign finance reform anyone?

 

[caption id="attachment_215" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Is this the Livestock Owner?"][/caption]

The GOP wants to end  finger-pointing, so Perry please ask your aid to stop abusing the Godfather. Cain's reaction to the witch-hunt has changed as more scandals surface. Initially he talked about the target on his back, then he hunkered down,  finally there are rumors he's changing his pizza logo to "You Cant Have Your Special Sauce and Eat it Too."

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While You Were Rearing

Top political news today is Herman Cain's scandal, which according to Herman, was leaked by an aid of Perry's. Cain's supporters have been with him in spirit, with campaign contribution's peeking over the last two days. For the rest of us, we should just relax and give Cain a virtual hug. Politicians come with scandals to teach the American people perseverance through trying times. [caption id="attachment_158" align="alignleft" width="245" caption="Weiner"][/caption]

 

From Kerry's Vietnam Christmas adventure, to Schwarzenegger's love child, to Weiner's wiener. These humble acts are performed for us. Honestly, did Weiner have a chance? He can't even hear his name without running to a Sexaholic Anonymous Meeting. Thanks for teaching us perverseness Congress. Our hats, and nothing else, go off to you.

 

 

As for aging,  you can now stay in the sun, smoke, and consume alcohol in massive quantities without paying the consequences. Scientists at the Mayo Clinic discovered and eliminated 'bad actor' cells, which age your tissue. Genetically modified mice successfully self destructed these aging cells in a recent lab test. Pretty neat. Heidi Montag has volunteered to be the first human to try to the experiment. She aspires to be known as the only person to blow up her aging cells while smoking.

Lastly, I am going on the record to say this app will be disastrous. The application allows you to click to date someone based on their proximity to you and availability to have a drink. Date rapists rejoiced until they discovered the app gives users control over the amount of personal information provided. Daters are frustrated with the snail pace of online dating--welcome to the next step beyond personal ads.

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Wednesday's Words of Wisdom

Cotton prices are increasing due to water shortages leaving business concerned.  Levi's is so concerned they are now suggesting we wash our jeans in cold water--if at all. We can easily kill these germs by simply freezing them to death. A little cohabitation of your jeans germs and frozen veggies. The Greek Government has plunged into chaos over the debt crisis. Prime Minister Papandreou no longer has the support of his people, even his own party has asked him to step down, allowing Americans to finally take a deep breath--at least the US Government isn't alone in its demise.

Bank of America has decided not to charge customers a 5 dollar fee for each use of their debit card. Sadly, this was decided by BoA only after larger banks backed out of this protocol. Way to take initiative BoA. You could have been the first bank to lose all your customers in one day.

A new study shows that even 3 drinks a week increases the risks for breast cancer in women. The good news is that this study produces different results weekly so, just keep consuming.

In Harlem, a little bolt fueled a huge fire. Literally, a single nut on a fuel injector wasn't tightened and was the culprit of a large fire earlier this year. Small things do make a difference. Yes you should pass this along.

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Sharks

Breaking news was reported earlier today when a shark was spotted circling in the ocean. Locals are outraged, "Not only was he in his habitat, but got hungry and  tried to eat." The US Government has issued a state of emergency for the city and locals have called a Town Hall meeting. The mayor was quoted saying "it don't matter that they've been around millions of years, this here shark isn't native, and hes gotta go." The number of volunteers has been exhausted and harpoons around the state have been sold out  indefinitely.

PooPoo Potty's Wrath

She nodded off on our ride home. I needed more than just NPR to feel productive today—I had to stall nap time. I changed lanes hoping the sun would startle her, turned up the music, sang loudly. Made a phone call using key words: bottle, outside, dog. My efforts proved futile. At home, I tiptoed around the car, opening her door with the speed of a windmill on a calm day. I removed her by installments, coming to a standstill if she moved. I eyed the dog so he’d know to keep quiet. I made like a teepee to put her down, pinning my arms underneath her body—the crib supporting me in the Heimlich.From the side I was a perfect upside down ‘ V.’ I eased my arms out like I had invented this technique. Numb from the waist down, I stood slowly, as if at gunpoint and walked backward out of the bedroom, isn’t this how the Indians did it? Just beginning my victory dance, I heard ‘Poopoo Potty.’
I checked to call her bluff, but unfortunately this was valid. I saw her jeans begin to darken slowly from diaper to shoes—muchlike water’s dominance over paper towels. Yes this was a Poopoo Potty, site words check. I hoisted her to the shower head fully clothed—fearful of PoopooPotty’s wrath. She had eaten something vile at daycare—the smell was unbearable. Her jeans morphed into a wet suit. I laid her in the tub to set herfree—yanking and tugging at her clothing as the shower head massaged both of us.With each milestone, a splash of Poopoo Potty launched to places I’ll never find. For the finale, the drain filled to capacity and clogged. Emergency evacuation. I lifted my trophy up, her wetsuit becoming lost in the Poopoo’s water. There would be no nap today.

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Tuesday's Top 3

1. New York Times CBS pollproves Americans have never been so distrusting of their government. Accordingto the poll, 84% disapprove of the job Congress is doing; 15% demand to know what‘Congress’ is; and 1% are happy with their home in Greenwich.

2. Makers of medical devices now lobbyfor a quicker regulatory process—donating 3.3 billion to political candidates overthe last five years. Eric Paulson was given 74K after sponsoring a bill tomake it easier to bring these to the market. Of course he doesn’t plan on usingthese; he’ll manufacture his own medical device with the money they gave him.

3. Chinauses ‘Social Responsibility’ in a sentence, making strides to perfectdesalination. China predictsa worldwide demand for desalination—soon our water will be ‘Made in China’ too. 

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Sitzing

My assumption is that the sitz bath is introduced only afterdeliver because it prompts such ghastly images of illness its certain to scareanyone into abstinence. “Your Body: Post Pregnancy” books aren’t best sellersfor a reason. I was sure my midwife was confusing me with another patient inthe geriatric wing when she asked how my sitzing was coming along.

Sitz was a mustard colored training toilet that proved to beuncomfortable, cold, and uninviting—with a companion bag that I mistook as aurine caddy. I soaked in room temperature water while my feet rested on tilesof ice—I even used a wheel chair on each journey to the john. The ‘urinal bag’ camewithout a perch so I had to continuously elevate it above the laws of physics forthe water to flow properly. When my perched arm became partially numb andtingly, I would then use my free arm to brace it, with my thigh acting as abase. My perched arm would eventually numb entirely. At that point, I would switchsides, and back and forth the ‘urinal bag’ would go until I had sitzedentirely.

I neglected Sitz at home until images of perineum deformity began to haunt me. One day out of fear,I kept my appointment. The baby began to cry during my meeting. Someone elsepicked her up. My friendship with Sitz began that day. I used my time with Sitzto social network and text without interruption—I became available. Ouralliance was strong. With Sitz I had both peace and solidarity—I was once againan individual. I became ambitious about being with Sitz—often ‘forgetting’ Ihad already spent my allowance with her that day.

My midwife was dumbfounded to learn I was still spending somuch time with Sitz. I was an anomaly. No one actually kept these appointments.I felt like I had just won a triathlon by cheating. I parted with Sitz after myappointment—a bitter-sweet farewell. I wanted to bury her—with a note inremembrance, she had become part of me—instead I placed her gently into therecycling bin, hoping she could bless someone in her next life as she had me.