Occupy Noun(s) Not Parks

[adsenseyu5] Police have cleared Zucotti park. Will the Occupy Wall Street movement die without a park to occupy? I suggest occupying the polls but protesters have suggested taking all their money out of banks or refocusing the movement to support a political candidate.

I'm part of the 99% too and I've made more progress with their movement from my couch. Occupiers accomplished nil and now ideas of bank runs are at play, which cause immense financial crisis resulting in long economic recessions and enormous financial clean ups.

Start-ups account for most new job creations. Volunteer while developing your business plan. Pick something, homelessness, child abductions, AIDS, soup kitchens. All Saints feeds the homeless on the UES every Friday from 8-12. Choose action over nesting, Occupy Noun Street. Help us, help you.

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Friday’s Top 3

1.       A homeless orphan was turned away from work earliertoday by the Tea Party supporterMelissa Brookstone, asmall business owner eating steak and sipping earl gray, who has vowed to stophiring to stand up to ‘the new dictator.’ Tea Party supporters congratulate her on her move to further slow the economy and increaseunemployment rates across the nation.

2.       Angry New Yorkers andOWS protesters close heated meeting with an agreement and three talking points withinhours—individuals then left to present the conference “Conflict Resolution” toCongress.

3.      Obama gets a scare when his Ohioapproval ratings drop, becoming more disheartened to learn that Romneyis in fact in touch with the middle class by paying only 14% in taxes—less thanthe average teacher or cop.

10 Things You Would Have Known if You Weren’t Cleaning Poo

1. Hoping Blackberry users will have some downtime after their recent downtime, Blackberryoffers Bejeweledas compensation to the 50 million people for the four day outage.

2. Publisher’sanxieties increase as Amazoncontinues to take over the world by now publishing books.

3. Trump and hishair think that Obama should stop Occupy Wall Street protests.

4. HermanCain is still running for President—most importantly, people are still watchinghim.

5. Eminemturns 39 today, and even though his palms are sweaty, knees weak, and arms are heavy he’s going to ask Beyonce’s baby bump to marry.

6. Inan effort to abolish all physical activity,McDonalds introduces TV’s in their restaurants—just in case kids had a notionto swing.

7. Unemployment ratesare the lowest they’ve been all year, why are you still Occupying Wall Street?

8. Citigroup only gained 74%last quarter—their seventh consecutive quarterly profit. Vikram S. Pandit, Citigroups Chief Executive claims his biggest fear is that he'll become part of the .012 percent.

9. EvenChina labels food if it’s been genetically altered; they also run over childrenand look the other way.

10.SteveJobs to perform his last miracle on October 19 from 1-2 EST.  Apple stores across the nation will haveno lines as they close for his memorial.

Occupy (yawn) Wall Street

Bill Clintonsaid it best, but I said it first. Come on you were the President, so maybeyour delivery was better. Your approach will get you nowhere. With no clearleadership, and no apparent objectives, you continue to just increase traffic. Yes,Tahrir was a grassroots movement as well, but they had a definitive goal. Whatis your goal? You're continuously saying ‘We don’t need a leader, were here as the99%.’ Ok, well that's bullshit, and you'll still be the 99% in sixmonths. When you say you’re the 99%, you’re essentially saying I have a leg.You get no special treatment by having a leg. I’ll help you and write thescript for your new signs pro-bono.

‘I Have A Leg, This is So Not Over'

‘I Have A Leg and Have Been Robbed of my Future’

‘Were not Fish, Fish don’t have Legs, Put away the Nets’

‘Ignore Me and My Leg- Go Shopping’

‘Police—Protecting and Serving the Shit out of My Leg’

‘People with Legs have Rights-Defend Occupy Wall Street’

‘People with Legs over Profit’

‘Arrest One of Our Legs and Two More Legs will Appear. We are Legs and Weare Many. You Can’t Arrest an Idea, We are the Legs.’

'My Leg is Waking Up. Be Nervous. Be Very Nervous. Marie Antoinette Wasn't.'

Tuesday’s Top 8 – I would rather it be a whole number too

Breaking News Today

1.      In a closed captioning interview Bill Keller revealsthat The New York Times is, wait for it, Socially Liberal.

2.     Geraldo made an unwanted guest appearance atOccupy Wall Street and had the audacity to bring his mustache with him.

3.     Besides protests against the 1%, women protesterspicket in Chicago in opposition to the .00000001% 39 Weeks Pregnant MarathonRunner’s damaging exposure that debilitating pregnancy is a hoax.

4.     Romney won’t say whether his campaign is fundingthe recently universal ‘I Am Mormon’ ads.

5.     Occupy Wall Street protesters are not Fox News’target demographic, and with a shocking twist still don't unify.

6.     Hank Williams Jr. sings rebuttal song to MondayNight Football in shower.

7.     Amanda Knox declines Vivid Entertainment’srequest for spokesperson, she’s been humiliated enough after being unlawfullyjailed for four years.

8.      NBA cancels two weeks of the regular sessionbecause players and owners can’t decide on a fair split of $4 Billion—TNT andESPN to air reruns of natural disasters and genocides as a fill in.