While You Were Rearing

Top political news today is Herman Cain's scandal, which according to Herman, was leaked by an aid of Perry's. Cain's supporters have been with him in spirit, with campaign contribution's peeking over the last two days. For the rest of us, we should just relax and give Cain a virtual hug. Politicians come with scandals to teach the American people perseverance through trying times. [caption id="attachment_158" align="alignleft" width="245" caption="Weiner"][/caption]


From Kerry's Vietnam Christmas adventure, to Schwarzenegger's love child, to Weiner's wiener. These humble acts are performed for us. Honestly, did Weiner have a chance? He can't even hear his name without running to a Sexaholic Anonymous Meeting. Thanks for teaching us perverseness Congress. Our hats, and nothing else, go off to you.



As for aging,  you can now stay in the sun, smoke, and consume alcohol in massive quantities without paying the consequences. Scientists at the Mayo Clinic discovered and eliminated 'bad actor' cells, which age your tissue. Genetically modified mice successfully self destructed these aging cells in a recent lab test. Pretty neat. Heidi Montag has volunteered to be the first human to try to the experiment. She aspires to be known as the only person to blow up her aging cells while smoking.

Lastly, I am going on the record to say this app will be disastrous. The application allows you to click to date someone based on their proximity to you and availability to have a drink. Date rapists rejoiced until they discovered the app gives users control over the amount of personal information provided. Daters are frustrated with the snail pace of online dating--welcome to the next step beyond personal ads.

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