1. World Health Organization to use GOP debatersfor new case study associated with the recent influx of bullying—specifically honingin to compare the ‘My War Chest is Bigger than Your War Chest’ spatbetween Romney and Perry to the ‘My Daddy has More Money than Your Daddy’playground brawls worldwide.
2. Bank of America’s workers get the day off to grievetheir fall to 2nd place, behind JP Morgan. Disheartened, Brian T. Moynihan, BOA CEO choked-up as he said ‘At least we‘re not like Goldman, we‘re never going to have to occupy.’ GoldmanSachs experiences its first loss since the financial crisis—$428M in 3rd qtr—prompting an emergency ‘Do We Occupy Wall Street Too’ meeting.
3. Harrowing—the word of the day—gets written in thedictionary beside the following three individuals: Linda Ann Weston, Thomas Gregory, and Eddie Wright for chaining three mentally disabled people to their basement, one to a radiator, and stealing their social security checks—unforunately their contact information was not released.
4. The Godfather of Pizza admits he was referringto a his new ‘Saturday Night Special’ not an economic plan when he spoke of his999 plan—Buy 9 Pizzas with 9 Toppings, Get 9 Pizzas.
5. Perry uses part of his war chest to do aninvestigation that will air tonight on CNN called ‘Hiring Illegal’s: Trials and Tribulations of a Lying Mormon.’