Pepper Spray Job Resume


Objective: To obtain a job successfully torturing innocent victims

  • Obtained unprecedented retinal damage, totaling 2K eyes with potential reach of 5K, depending on level of diffusion
  • Represented Corrupt Police Officials nationwide using rapid response capabilities
  • Decreased protester's moral by 80%, and back talk by more than 50% under strict deadlines
  • Persuaded numerous eyes to close by utilizing inflammatory response to cause pain, and tears
  • Coordinated operations and communications with retina nerve endings across various departments, steering the success of torture
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