Jewelry Tag Lines Revamped


1. Kay, "Every Kiss Begins With Kay." Sadly, every kiss doesn't begin with Kay, tagline should be "Every Kiss Begins With Booze."

2. Jared, "It could only be Jared!" Actually, it could be a plethora of others, including but not limited to or (Jewelry Television). New tagline should read, "It Could Have Been Tiffany If I Wasn't So Cheap."

3. Heather B. Moore, "Cherish Who You Are." How can I cherish who I am when I'm wearing your jewelry? Tagline should be, "Cherish Your Woman."

4. Zales, "Since 1924, we've helped more couples say "I love you" than any other jewelry store." I don't know how they can prove this. Tagline should be, "Since 1924, we've helped bring about more uncomfortable present opening experiences, thus forcing loved ones to say 'I love you' without meaning, than any other jewelry store."

5. Shane Company, "Your Friend in the Diamond Business." Clearly this should read, "Your Friend in the Diamond Business, Above the Equator." Also, you've had the same ad since 1982--we all know you're located on on Windy Hill Road and open Monday through Friday until 8, and Saturday and Sunday until 5. We'd appreciate a change up.

6. Helzberg Diamonds, Since 1915, Helzberg Diamonds has been committed to providing our customers with unparalleled customer service, industry expertise and custom jewelry that makes that special someone say, "I Am Loved." A possible alternate tagline could be, "I Am Materialistic."

7. Littman Jewelers, "For All Those Special Times." Tagline should be, "For All Those Special Times When All You Really Wanted Was the Little Blue Box With a White Ribbon, and I Gave You Grey Instead."

8. Tommy's Jewelers, "Were Here For You, As Ever Nice Price." Unclear about this one. They should probably just do an entire marketing revamp.

9. Cartersville Jewelry Exchange, "Where North Georgia Gets Engaged." Clearly this should read, "Don't Bother Coming In if You're From South Georgia." How can our own state be against the south? We get enough of this above the Mason Dixon.

10. Rogers and Hollands, "Jewelry Created Now and Forever." Tagline should be, "Jewelry Created 'Til You Pawn It For Some Real Bling."