Bra Whisperer

Can I piggyback onto Beth Rothstein's  Female Journos Flock to the Bra Whisperer? After getting fit at Intimacy, I developed a new relationship with my bosoms. Life altering experience is an understatement. Before the Bra Whisperer, I was ignorant to the consequence of not keeping my bosoms on constant lockdown—living blissfully under the ruse that gravity was lawless in this region of my body. My revelation came shortly after the delivery of my babe when I became certain there was a leak in our roof, only to discover that the leak was my right breast overflowing. Engorgement is a belittlement. I couldn’t bend over because the pain resulting from the rush of blood to my teats was unbearable. I clothed them in frozen cabbage to reduce their heart beat. Being brave proved impossible—I wept each time she needed feeding. The day of dread arrived when my milk withered. I was 30 and my boobs were 89 years old—they looked as if they had been ironed. The Bra Whisperer both liberated and transformed my uppers into portable implants within 15 minutes. If you yearn for your boobs to linger above your beltline, but the idea of an incision makes you squeamish, Intimacy is the place to go. A word to the wise—the Bra Whisperer will advise you to begin your collection with 7-10 bras, but I couldn’t fathom spending a thousand dollars on a bra wardrobe, so I left with two. Whether wearing light or dark colors, I will maintain my 19 year old physic. Thank you Oprah, for recommending the Bra Whisperer, now I have assets similar to the Kardashians.