While You Were Rearing

[adsenseyu5] A Yale scientist finds a cure for autism by changing criteria to diagnose it. Claiming criteria for autism is vague and vowing to use this name change to put an end to the autism epidemic. Parents around the country rejoice at no longer having to worry about the effects of mystery vaccines, while healthcare companies give out-of-pocket bonuses from people who no longer meet the criteria to get health  services.

Sadly, Perry has left us and gone back to his gay lover in the great state of Texas, but not before he endorses Newt and Newt's head.

The endorsement came after Marianne came clean about Newt's wish for an open marriage.  Newt whined, "I do what I want, whah whah." Both Newt and his head attacked John King for asking about their open marriage.

Mittens continues to give us butterfly kisses throughout his debate, while adding a bullet point to his résumé--Multitasking. Mittens will "show his taxes all at once so we can have one discussion". Genius. He plans to kill not only two, but multiple birds with one stone--typical republican--by holding a town hall meeting after the unveiling so that he can dodge questions, while answering them with more questions. Mittens also puts Addition's Major under education, revamping math as we know it entirely.

I Build Enterprises + Nothing Wrong With Profit = 120,000 Jobs

Santorum crashes Dictionary Online by using "home personal computer" when asked to reveal his taxes.

During Ron Paul's 2 seconds on the CNN debate, he gets more applause than all the other candidates combined.

The Last Four tell John King and viewers what they would have done differently if they had it to do over:

Mittens: I would part my hair on the left, not right.

Newt: My pompousness would continue, but I would sprinkle this with cocky.

Santorum: I would have altered sweater vest days on Tue/Thu instead of Mon/Wed.

Paul: I would have requested a wider camera for debates.